Understanding the Manosphere: How to Help Our Boys Stay Balanced

Lucy Berry shares her thoughts on helping our sons navigate the pitfalls of the online world

As a mum in my late 40s I know how tricky it can be to raise boys these days. The internet has made the world so much bigger, and this has its drawbacks as well as its advantages.

One of the more worrying corners they might wander into is the “manosphere” — a sprawling online network that’s become a hotbed for some pretty harmful ideas about masculinity, women and relationships. It’s a subject I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about, especially since the Netflix series Adolescence.

What Exactly Is the Manosphere?

The manosphere is a loose collection of websites, forums and social media spaces where men—often young men—gather to talk about masculinity, dating, and life. On the surface, it might seem harmless, but dig a little deeper, and you’ll find a lot of anti-feminist rhetoric, rigid stereotypes, and sometimes hostility towards women.

Many boys happen upon the manosphere accidentally. They might be searching for tips on confidence or how to make friends, and the internet’s algorithms quietly steer them towards these spaces. Once there, they’re exposed to ideas that can really mess with their heads, making things worse instead of better.

Why Should We Be Concerned?

The manosphere often presents a very black-and-white view of the world: men are either “alphas” or “betas,” and women are often portrayed as obstacles or enemies. This kind of thinking can have a deeply damaging effect on young men searching for a sense of self and can lead to anxiety, depression, and a warped sense of relationships. Some boys become obsessed with “looksmaxxing” — trying to change their appearance to fit narrow ideals — which can lead to unhealthy behaviours and low self-esteem.

How Can We Help Our Boys?

Have Open, Non-Judgmental Conversations
It’s crucial to approach your son’s online interests with curiosity rather than suspicion. Ask what he’s watching or reading, and listen carefully. This builds trust and keeps the door open for honest dialogue.

Explore the Online World Together
If he’s willing, watch some videos or visit websites with him. Understanding what draws him in helps you gently challenge harmful ideas and offer healthier perspectives.

Teach Critical Thinking About Online Content
Help your son understand how social media algorithms work — how they push certain content to keep people hooked, sometimes leading to extreme or toxic ideas. Encourage him to question what he sees and seek out balanced information.

Model Healthy Relationships at Home
Show respect, kindness, and vulnerability in your everyday interactions. Real-life examples of healthy relationships are powerful lessons that no online forum can replace.

Seek Professional Support If Needed
If you notice your son becoming withdrawn, angry, or overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a counsellor or mental health professional who can help.

Final Thoughts

The manosphere is a challenging part of the online world, but it’s not unbeatable. With patience, understanding and open communication, we can help our boys build resilience and develop a balanced view of themselves and others. It’s about guiding them to find their own strength—rooted in respect, empathy, and confidence.

Raising boys today is no easy task, but together, we can help them grow into thoughtful, balanced men who respect themselves and others. It’s a journey worth taking, and one we don’t have to walk alone.

If you’d like more support, my book Digital Warriors offers practical advice and tips on navigating these conversations with care and confidence: https://www.woldhousebooks.org/shop